Opposites attract, but how do they work?
For the longest time, my husband thought I was a Debbie Downer trying to ruin his dreams and I thought he was a perfectionist jerk. By learning more about our character strengths, we discovered our potential. I am Deliberative — this means I like to think through everything that could go wrong in a goal and have a plan. My husband is a Maximizer and wants to make the most out of Every. Single. Thing. Instead of letting these differences push up apart, we team up on every adventure in life like house buying (I make sure we can afford it, he picks the best we can afford) and vacation planning (I pack the bags, he dreams up the magic)
In this episode, I’m introducing you to Dr. Angela Robles. Angela is Curriculum Specialist of Sport Management and Assistant Professor, Department of Kinesiology at Azusa Pacific University. She has pioneered research in strengths-based athletics and applied that insight into her own relationship. She and her husband, David, have used their strengths and some honest conversations to find more joy.
The transcript and resources for this episode can be found below.
Cassandra: [00:00:00] Hey friend, it’s Cassandra, and this is needed and known the podcast where we discover how to transform average moments into a great life by learning, growing, and becoming better humans together. I interview amazing people. Who’ve improved their communication relationships and perspectives in unique ways.
On this episode, I’m interviewing Angela. Dr. Angela Robles is a curriculum specialist of sports management and assistant professor in the department of kinesiology at Azusa Pacific university. She’s a former pitcher for the university of Notre Dame softball team, and is coached at collegiate levels.
She’s pioneered research in strengths based athletics and applied that insight into our own relationship. But what I think Angela is needed and known for. Is her ability to be flexible with her spouse. I’m excited for you to hear about their journey together and to hear how opposites can really make a great hi Angela.
I am so glad that you could join us today to kind of talk about. What’s happened in your life. What’s changed in your life and impart your knowledge and your wisdom to my listeners. Tell us about your life and your career before becoming a mother
Angela: [00:01:21] oh, right.
It’s like, is there a before you can even remember it. It’s like, oh, what did I have a life before then? Yes. So I guess the best way I can share it was I grew up in long beach, California full circle we’re back here now, which is like really wonderful. But I was a full scholarship athlete at Notre Dame.
I played college sports for four years, played overseas for a bit coached in college. Did some grad school got married about 15 years ago. And I want to say about two years after David and I were married, we had, I started having kids. So I had Riley and Reese and juggling all of that while finishing, finishing grad school and moving a ton of times as you know.
Cassandra: [00:02:08] So you basically had an entire life. I mean, I, we all had different varying degrees, but you truly had an entire life and career in your truck.
Angela: [00:02:19] Yeah, I feel like no, I think I was really fortunate to have done so many things and checked so many things off of my like bucket list, I guess on, even before I probably met David and, you know dating and really got married and starting a family, I feel like I’m trying to think.
I think I was about 26 when, when we got married. So I feel like, yeah, from, from starting college, about 17 or 18 to 26, there was a lot of that. I think that happened during that time. And yeah, and I think all the goals and things that I would have loved to have had accomplished, I feel like I was really grateful and fortunate to have done a lot of those things prior to starting a family.
Cassandra: [00:02:56] That’s wonderful. As we go on, we’re going to talk about strengths a little bit. And so I want to give the listeners a little bit of context, cause I know. A little about strengths. I know, you know, a lot being a coach and you don’t need to know anything about StrengthsFinder specifically, but just having to listen.
But just having some context for the listeners. Can you tell us, when did you learn about strengths and what are strengths? What does that even mean?
Angela: [00:03:22] Sure. Yeah. So part of that journey, I think of like playing college sports and then playing professionally a little bit and then moving into coaching in college, I’ve always been really fascinated with how teams work and how, especially in athletics and in sports.
I think we kind of like live and die based on the health of our team. And so I’ve just been really. Always was really curious about like what makes teams function? What makes them healthy? What makes them positive? And as I started my graduate work, as I started my doctoral program, I believe it was about 2002.
They had us as part of our orientation takes StrengthsFinder. And so now it’s actually called Clifton strengths. But they did that just to sort of help us kind of have a little bit more self-awareness and really think about. What are some of the innate talents and strengths that we have in us that could potentially help us through our graduate program.
And as soon as I took the assessment, again, for people who are maybe not familiar with it, it’s an online assessment. It takes about 40 minutes or so. And then you really learn your top five strengths, right? So for me learning those really. Very easy words, but really recognizable words, such as like being an includer and empathy and positivity and belief.
And then there’s one called woo, which I thought, well, what does that mean? Right. But winning others over and just this idea for me of affirming maybe the traits or the times that I had that were more relational, I felt like were really helpful for me. As I looked back on my experience as an athlete and always was really curious about why I didn’t resonate.
Being an athlete who wanted to like throw my glove when I was mad or, you know, really I was more competitive and more compelled in sports and to play hard and to be successful because I really genuinely loved being part of a team. And so I think in learning what my strengths were at that doctorate program helped me I guess really kind of identify what it was that I wanted to study and what it was I wanted to research.
So being able to bridge that into a doctoral program, so this idea of strengths, but then also tying that back with teamwork and looking at wouldn’t it be cool to do this with sport teams, right. And to be able to really give teams and coaches the tools to know what their athletes are made of. I thought I was always really interested in what that would look like.
And so, so learning strengths back in 2002, and then really investing in it through my doctoral program. Doing my dissertation work on it. And then since then really being able to kind of utilize that effect that more and doing some team building has always been really such a, such a gift in such an honor.
I feel like to do that for the last number of years.
Cassandra: [00:05:51] How long was it after you did that, that you had David take his assessment.
Angela: [00:05:58] Oh, gosh, I want to say probably when I met him, honestly, it’s like, I think maybe it was when we were in our dating. So I think we met in like 2003, 2004, and I think I was so fired up about just this idea of strength and the self-discovery and self-awareness I think as we were dating, it probably came up in conversation that these were things I was really interested in studying.
And as we kind of, you know, as you do, when you date, you sort of share your stories. And things that you’re passionate about and interested in, and I said, you should really look at taking this assessment. Right. And so he took it. And I think that actually helped us as I progress in my doctoral program and ended up spending so many years really looking at what strengths is, it was so great that in the very beginning, he was on the same page with some of the language.
And we can kind of talk a little bit about our differences and. Why we do what we do, why we think what we think. And I think that was a really helpful tool for us. Not for him just to understand what I was studying and spending all my time doing, but for us to really actually use it in real life, too, outside of school for me.
So yeah, I think he took it in like 2003, 2004, maybe. Wow.
Cassandra: [00:07:04] So, and you’ve been married for 15 years, so. It’s definitely dating
Angela: [00:07:09] 16. Yeah.
Cassandra: [00:07:12] You know, your strengths and you know, his strengths. And how, how did that help you? Cause you are, like you said, What you described or your strengths. And what I know about them is that those are really like people and relational.
And so that’s why throwing your glove on the ground. Doesn’t do anything. And now I’m, I’m that way, like, I’m not, I get competitive, we play a board game. I’m definitely going to win. But like, and I like to trash talk a little, but like, I’m not going to like throw you, get you play with those people who are like going to throw the game across the room if they lose.
Angela: [00:07:42] Right. Right.
Cassandra: [00:07:43] And I tend to be very relational as well, which you had no idea about, but
which is why we’re easily connect. Yeah,
absolutely. Absolutely. So knowing that about yourself as you transitioned from being an athlete and to being a mother how did that, how did that work for you knowing those strengths about your.
Yeah. Sure. So, so again, I think it really helped David Midas in our marriage and kind of to understand what our differences were. But I think as we started our family and helped us to really Well, and again, it’s never really easy, right? Like, so once you kind of start figuring out your parenting role, then your roles in marriage or in relationships, I think that’s always a challenge, no matter how many tools you have.
But I think for us, I think for us learning Kind of what these different strengths are. It helped us sort of, I don’t know, I’m not a very strategic person, but it helped us kind of strategize a bit more on like, as we approach parenting as our kids get older, like what role are we going to play? And who’s going to take care of what roles and responsibilities so that I think so we give each other space to really live in the places that we most enjoy, but also we don’t put that same expectation or burden on each other to function.
The way the other does, if that makes sense. So I, I don’t expect him to be super, highly relational because I know his strengths. I know he’s just not always wired like that. He’s going to be much more of the planner and if there’s a problem, or even as a, as a parent, if there’s an issue with the kids, we’re all set and I’ll like cry.
If they cry and I’ll be excited that they are excited and I’ll kind of ride the wave of the emotion with them. He’s going to end the moment and say, well, how do I fix that? Or what’s our next step? And so I think I think for me learning my strengths, even as a mom helped me realize the blind spots that I had and where I really needed to give space for for him to kind of step into and kind of take on those.
Parenting roles that I really followed were not in my sweet spot, if that makes sense. So I think that kind of helped us kind of plan out, like what are, which would be, you know, as we start raising kids. Cause we didn’t know what we were doing. Nobody does. Right. You leave the hospital. Who’s going to do this for me, you know, I’m going to use anyone’s my dog, you know, so I think that, I think that was helpful for us.
And there, it’s kind of been fun where we look at our kids and we kind of start guessing like the strengths that they have. Right. And so how do we leave them space to really thrive, but also how do we kind of guide them or coach them in areas that we feel like they, you know, can really do great in or can really grow in.
That’s so good. And you know, you know, the cliche is it’s all about communication and the only reason that married people. Who have been married for awhile? Say that it’s all about communication is because it’s all about communication. I feel like knowing each other’s strengths is just like that added component.
It helps to fill in that gap of why do you do things that way? Why the, why do you make it happen? Like why, why is that so important to you? Because for David. Having the relational part isn’t is important. Of course it’s important to all of us, but like it’s way more important to you or like being empathetic as is something that happens to you.
And whereas he’s like, I just need to solve this problem and knowing that kind of smooth, would you say that like smooth, that, that vibe between you with time and place?
Angela: [00:11:00] Yeah, for sure. And I think it just gave us more like grace with each other too. And I have to say, cause I, I realized that you know, your friends and people who are gonna listen to this conversation, I always, I always assume like, oh, they’ll know who David is, but I should probably kind of paint the picture a little bit too, about how different we really are So one of the things that I’ve always been really I think mindful about, or that he and I both have been very mindful about it is we come from such different backgrounds. So culturally, we come from totally different places, right? So his parents are from Mexico. His mom still doesn’t speak English.
Right. So he came from a very traditional Mexican home and I came from a very. Traditional kind of white middle-class family, right? My dad was in the Marine Corps and, you know, we just come from these very different cultural backgrounds, I think. Then also with my sport background, there’s a different language and norms and expectations and experience that you have as a college athlete.
That. I think sometimes I, I wonder like, oh, if I would’ve married somebody who was an athlete, just like me, would we have the same issues or problems or would we, you know, it’d be a little bit easier in some ways. And like him, you know, he’s a little bit more, you know, into music and he’s a thinker and he, you know, so we just have these different personalities, but we also have different cultural backgrounds and family dynamics.
And so I think all of those things kind of set you up for either this. Cool like exciting relationship, but also very challenging relationship. And so I think for me, when I look at strengths that has been really helpful in areas that were like, We were so different that it just gave us a place to talk about some of those differences through this language of strength that helped open doors to all of these other differences that we already knew existed.
So yeah, so I think just the layers of how different we already were that the strength piece was a really helpful tool for us. Cause we didn’t start in the same way. You know what I mean? I
Cassandra: [00:12:51] do. I do. And I think you, not only did you, you didn’t start it in the same place, but you’ve really traveled through different places together as well.
And so you know, I know that you ha you’ve had friends wherever you’ve gone because you, somebody like Angela can’t help, but have friends, frankly. So but those friends, those friends may have created emotional support in the moment, but they weren’t. Lifelong friends in the way that a lot of people think of lifelong friends like you and I we’ve talked about this.
Like we’re lifelong friends, but I, I haven’t seen Angela in person in a very long time, honestly, but we talk, I mean, years will go by and then we reconnect as if nothing happened. Not because we’re ghosting each other or whatever the slang is this week, but like, just because that’s life and we accept that about each other and we’re already so similar that we just reconnect and pick back up.
Meanwhile, Angela’s living her life, with David. Who’s very different from her. Can you share a little bit more about that, how that’s
Angela: [00:13:54] So I think well part of it is that we just moved from match, right? So with David’s job, and that was the ebb and flow for me of like, you know, the balancing being a mom, but also balancing the professional and kind of what my.
Work and home life would look like, but also being a support to him as he worked in church work for a really long time. So we moved, I think we counted like eight different times and 10 years or whatever that was. So I felt like every time we’d settled, we kind of kind of moved. And so even if it was in the.
City, you know, just even moving neighborhoods or whatever that look like. We just, we always say we were kind of like the, you know, just feels like we get settled and then we’d kind of go somewhere else. And we just, we just enjoyed, like, this life has kind of like, you know, moving when our kids were little, but that was also brought on a big challenge of trying to find.
Okay. Where do you find your community and really, where do you anchor in these friendships and, and, you know, and, and, and we lived for a number of years, at least two hours from our family. And so we didn’t really have a lot of the family support. So as we were raising, learning how to be married, but also raising our young kids it was very lonely, I think, in terms of like, feeling like exhausted and trying to.
These roles and the moving and all those things were challenging on top of just how different we already were and what we thought about how parenting should look like or how our job should look like, or even really the traditional male and female roles. Right. Like we, we kind of were navigating a lot of that.
So yeah. So I think, I think that, you know, as I look back I’m like that was, it was really a roller coaster of. Trying to figure out what we were doing, but also like the moving and changing friendships a lot. And wherever we moved, you know, was always really a challenge, but it anchored us to kind of depend on each other, which I think was really really kinda maybe the silver lining of it.
Cassandra: [00:15:36] Yeah.
Yeah. Well, when we, when I met you 10, maybe 10 years ago, does that sound right?
Angela: [00:15:44] I think so. That sounds right. maybe like 2010, somewhere around,
Cassandra: [00:15:49] 10 years. That’s crazy. When I met you you were doing strengths coaching and you were also, I think you were teaching. Were you teaching at that time, you really were taking early, were working, working mom, like part-time working right.
Angela: [00:16:04] Yeah. I always joke that I don’t feel like I had, like I had one foot in each world, so I never really settled in either one. That’s where that I think the isolation or feeling lonely kind of came in. Right. Would teach adjunct for bypass adjunct for, I think about 15 years before I did full-time faculty work and teaching at the college level and I did part-time, you know, consulting and things like that.
But my full time job then was being home with our girls. And then we joked David and I would high five in the driveway. Right. So if I had a coaching opportunity or a teaching opportunity, he would come home. And as soon as he pulled up in the drive and started walking in, I would walk out and we’d high five and change.
Of course. Right. So then I go work and then he’s home and three to that for a really long time, really long time. But but yeah, I never felt like I really did anything really full-time with work until about the last three years. My primary job really was being at home and then finding creative time to do all these other professional, you know,
Cassandra: [00:16:58] So you were still at home and then what was happening with them?
Angela: [00:17:04] Yeah. So I want to say about Kubrick working full time until about two years ago, maybe I think.
And so, as we kind of like, as our kids got older, we started feeling this natural shift of like, You know, they’re getting a little bit more independent. There’s a little bit more freedom and, and what we can take on and what we can do. So I think as his work kind of started to wind down a little bit, I was able to step into really dreaming about things that I wanted to do.
And so yeah, it was, maybe it was right when I was turning 40, I guess. So maybe 39, 40. I took a full time faculty role at a university and yeah. I place that again. I had been teaching for 15 years part-time so that was really exciting to kind of, and using the consulting and the strengths is all part of building into being able to do that job.
And so as we kind of naturally made the shift, I think when I started working full time, it gave him some space to really think about what it was that he wanted to do. And so Super cool thing. He knew that being able to go do a culinary degree program at a community college and, you know, just being able to kind of dream a little bit more about what he wants to do in his mid forties.
And I think you talked about in the beginning, in my, you know early twenties kind of checking off all these boxes of things that I felt like I was really excited, these bucket list things to do. And then that kind of beautiful, but lonely stretch, right. Of having kids and kind of raising the kids and doing work part-time for so many years.
And then now really anchoring in this idea of like, okay, now I’m 40. And now my career is actually just starting. And so it feels like a very non-traditional path, but I think this ebb and flow with David Naya. Turn it is has been a really interesting, I guess, like I said, not typical and not traditional kind of approach to how we’re raising our family and how we’re navigating both of us doing what we’re passionate about without compromising the ideal of really wanting to be consistent and like really available for our kids.
Cassandra: [00:18:59] Hmm, like rewritten the narrative of the norms that you grew up with and more so really found a rhythm that works for your family. So not worrying so much about what people will think, but really in honing in on your strengths and honing in on how each of you operate kind of leaning towards what you’re each good at and in being so different, created this unified relationship that allows each of you to do what you do best.
Would you say that. What’s happened.
Angela: [00:19:29] Yeah, I think so. I think so for sure. I think that you know, I look at, I look at the strength piece of like the tool of kind of like being able to commute. Like you were talking about communication. I think that has opened the door for us to communicate and just know each other a little bit better, but I think Yeah.
I just feel like it, I love what you said about rewriting the narrative. I think that is to me, like I’m in a, hold on. So you said that because it had such a beautiful description out of the permission and feel like we kind of gave ourselves, even in our early forties, mid forties to kind of say like, is this really what we want to do?
Are we really in spaces that we feel like this is our calling for our life and kind of the people we want to be in. So I think the willingness. To kind of like take those risks and make those changes. And I know it sounds like such a simple thing, but really like take turns with each other on being able to like lean in.
So like our, our greatest areas of like passion and what our kind of careers could look like. I think I don’t know, it’s been really fun, but I think you know, we were even talking about it earlier today. He and I about like, how, how. I see, I don’t know what the right word would be. I think it would be a lack of joy and a lack of like passion, if we would have just stayed where we were and, and kept doing what we were doing five years ago or 10 years ago, and stayed in our same roles and stayed in our same expectations.
And so the risk of like making those changes and kind of taking turns, I think now we’re just like, we’re really happy. Like, you know, we don’t have. Millions of dollars in fancy cars. You know what I mean? So there’s a cost of, of, of taking those turns and doing those things that way. But at the same time, like there’s such a fulfillment, I’ve being able to feel like we’re supporting each other and we each can have these moments.
I’ve I don’t know, like who’s going to have responsibility really for the home, but also who’s going to have permission to really lean into their area of, you know, their area of passion with what they want to do with their life and their career. Does that make sense a little bit?
Cassandra: [00:21:18] It does make sense. I am interested in what, how those conversations came up.
I know, obviously you’d already been married for nearly 15 years at that point. So it is a little different than maybe if somebody is listening and they’re still dating or they’re in the early states, the early years of marriage that are just their own, they really do have their own category. But can you unpack some of those conversations with just the questions that you were asking yourselves to get to where you are?
Angela: [00:21:46] Y. Yeah, I think Y I think probably the biggest question we could have asked is if we were willing to look at like, and I’m hoping this will make sense, but if we can look at these like traditional. Kind of society roles that we have for like the male and the female that has been on the wife, like this is what you’re supposed to do, and this is what I’m supposed to do.
Like the, the biggest conversation we’ve ever had is if we’re willing to look outside of those expectations and if we’re going to be okay with that, you know what I mean? So when we go to buy or lease a car, like I’ll sit down and I love that stuff. So I will be the negotiator, even though the you know, the car sales and we will look at David because he’s a male and that he’ll say, okay, serve all dah, dah, dah.
And we’ll be halfway through the conversation. And then David will say, want me to take the kids? And you can go ahead and finish with her because I’m the one that makes those decisions. Right? So is that okay for us to do that? Right? Like, is it okay for him to really lead into the idea that he loves the cooking and he loves the grocery shopping?
And so I think our traditional gender roles, I think a big conversation with us was are, is there permission for us to really. Kind of rewrite what we think this should look like, you know, and what the norm should look like. And I think and that’s been really healthy for our kids too. It’s been really healthy for our girls to grow up and see their dad do things that maybe somebody thinks, well, mom should do that.
You know? And so I think that that has been very empowering. I think even for me and our relationship to really like go and do everything that I can do, but also empowering for him too, to feel like there’s space for him. And. I don’t know, in the parenting roles with our girls, that I think that he is really good at that.
Maybe somebody wouldn’t think a dad would do. You know, I don’t know. I think rewriting those gender narratives, I think, has been really, really important for us. That’s why the biggest conversation for us that has really led us to get to where we are right now, you know, we’re still figuring it out for sure.
But that was it. That was a big conversation for us is trying to figure out what that, what that could look like because in our families, the hierarchy and the structure looks different than what we’re kind of trying to create, you know?
Cassandra: [00:23:49] Yeah. I think that’s so, it’s so great that you feeling safe in your relationship and feeling safe in your conversations that you’ve gotten to a place where you’re like, we’re good.
We’re good with where we’re at. And we’re moving forward. We’re each moving forward in our own ways and supporting each other. And I think honestly, it’s a B it’s beautiful because it’s like, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter to you if David’s picking them up or dropping them off. You know, whatever event they’re going to instead of
Angela: [00:24:22] mom and yeah.
And so then I think, and I think this idea of taking turns is really helpful for us. So when the kids were little, like I always was, you know, doing homework with them in the room, you know, helping out with the room, mom, staff and things like that. But it’s been really, really cool to see now where, you know, On the PTA, like David’s only PTA, right.
You know, like I’m not the one who’s doing the, the school craft and maybe it’s like, he’s doing that. And so I think and it’s really, I think, healthy for our girls to see you know, they’ll look around and they see like their dad is really intentional with doing some of those things with school or with whatever.
And so I think, but again, that has created his willingness to do that has created a lot of space for me to really move forward and Kind of really now being more primary and what our family is doing in terms of like job wise and things like that. But, but there, the idea of us, I kind of, like I said, the ebb and flow of that, and kind of through the years that kind of like these roles shifting, I guess it’s just more being flexible with, with what roles we’re taking in parenting and you know, who’s going to do what and what their work.
I don’t know. There’s not really like a blueprint for it, but, but it’s been really, yeah, it’s been really cool lately though, to see how much. Involved and invested in so many different parenting capacities that now allows me to do some other things like, you know, work-wise or creatively. So, and again, I think that our strengths line up with that right.
Allows us to kind of talk about what brings us joy and how do we do those things while together.
Cassandra: [00:25:50] And then David can draw-up the plan for that for ideas for execution.
What advice do you have for people that are facing just consistent dissatisfaction with their career, but they feel like they’re too old or not that I think you’re old, cause you’re like literally just a few years older than me.
Or, you know, there, there are some cultural norms that are holding them back there’s they have some sort of limiting belief about what’s going on. Right. What advice do you have for them and how could they know when it’s time to change?
Angela: [00:26:23] Yeah, that’s a really good question. I think I think looking at like what really brings you joy and fulfillment and like, if we’re going to be really honest, like, I’ll be really honest with you.
I think it, I think it also comes down to the fact of. Like he, and I even talked about the fact that like, we had this really small moment of time where we were both working full time. I can be like a six month period. Right. Because the kids were in school long enough, we were able to navigate it. And I’m like, oh, this is what this feels like.
This is amazing. Right. And it just didn’t. Trust where he, you know, it w it made more sense for me to do the full-time in that moment and for him to take a little bit of a step back. So we really were able to like, be at the drop-off and the pick-up like, we, it didn’t work for us to both do it at the same time, long term.
And so I think that the honest conversation for ball I would say is that it depends on if someone’s really willing to say, are you willing to. Have, you know, the one current, instead of two, are you willing to rent instead of own? Are you like, those were sacrifices that we knew we were going to make.
We live in Southern California. We’re not going to buy a house right now. Like we’re just not going to do that. But, but for us, the value. Of our time and the value of really what we wanted our family to look like was worth balancing out. Like, do we really have joy in what we’re doing with our jobs and the amount of work that we’re doing or how restructuring our family?
So I think the honest conversation. You know, being able to say like, this is what you’re doing, bringing you joy, but also like, are you willing to risk some of the stability or I mean, being responsible for sure, but also like saying, you know what I mean? Like, is it, well, are you willing then to say like, Hey, we’re going to kind of slow down on financially then because it’s going to work for us.
And I think we’ve had greater joy being in areas that we love what we do. We’re passionate about our jobs. We love being available, our kids. But knowing like the compromise of that is that we’re not gonna. We’ll have these great big full-time jobs and we’re okay with that. That’s not, that’s not always the case for everyone, but for us, that was, that was a decision we made together to say, we choose joy and we choose kind of what we’re doing for our family.
And that, that was, that was kind of worth that idea of like, let’s take the risk and pivot and, you know, make a career change. If you need to do that or, you know, decide what’s really going to bring you joy and lean into that in that moment.
Cassandra: [00:28:39] So, what I hear you saying is really it’s about balancing the joy with the cost.
So that could, it could be monetary. It could be time. It could be, whatever it is is, is the joy worth the cost. And for you, it is, and it might not be for everybody. It might be worth you saying owning a home is a dream that you have, and that requires you to work. Full-time in a job that isn’t the best job but it’s really well paying.
Then you have to kind of balance that is that. Are you putting a timeline on it or a goal on it or. Sticking it out thing, you know, like, okay, once I have enough for my down payment, then I’m going to get the house and I’ll move on. So yeah. Yeah. And
Angela: [00:29:21] there’s no, yeah, totally. And there’s no, and like I said, there’s no judgment for me on like, you know, however people choose to do it for us.
I think that was just the choice that we made and especially geographically too, right. Like Southern California is a really. Task where we’re on the border of orange county and LA county. So this is a tough place to live if you don’t have two full-time working people. But but again, that was like, as you were asking the question about like what, you know, kind of those hard conversations.
I think we both had to be on the same page with that. And because we were both on the same page, it made those choices very easy. and I will tell you it’s pretty good. It’s pretty incredible to see someone in their mid forties. Like I look at David and go, he’s going to make a total career shift at 45, 46 years old.
And I’m so proud of him for doing that because I don’t think, I don’t think people always take the risk and take the time to do that. But I, I don’t know. I just feel like I that’s, that’s what I wanted to give him is just this like encouragement and permission to say like, oh my gosh, what is it that you want to do?
And I don’t know. And I just think that has brought us so much more, enjoy that. I dunno, kind of sticking maybe with wherever you’re at and it rolls that we were out forever. I don’t know that that would have been as fulfilling.
Cassandra: [00:30:29] That’s so good. That’s so good. I think that’s the perfect place to wrap up because that is, it is doing it.
We’re doing it to support each other. And you already, you felt like you, you did that. Like you’re in a place where you can kind of proceed with your career. It’s just, it’s all balancing out and it doesn’t look like. The way that we would expect it to look and that’s okay, because there’s so much joy in it.
So I am so proud of you and I’m so happy for you and David. Yeah. Following your journey. Thank you for sharing the intimate details.
Thank you. Well, I love you and I appreciate you and thank you for doing this and having the conversation
On Needed and known. We talk a lot about knowing yourself and I think knowing your strengths can just add to that big picture of who you are for the longest time.
I thought I was a Debbie downer and my husband would just to protect. One of my strengths is deliberation, which means I have to think of every possible blocker. And my husband is a maximizer who focuses on making everything excellent and suburb by tapping into our strengths and being aware of the downsides of them.
We’ve been able to make the most of our relationship. If you’re interested in knowing more about your. Or in getting coached by Angela and David visit needed and known.com/podcast. Or check the show notes for how to connect with them until you need me next time. Bye.